Avalanche Under my eyes, it hurts to see so many people who cannot be who they are. Yeah I get it! I know people change towards imitating others because either they got bullied, do not “fit in”, or they become/feel like outcasts. Being “different” scares them. Well it should not. I was once afraid too. As a guy, we do not worry much if we fit in or not. To be honest, we bearly care. However I was different than the rest of the guys. Even in general, I was different than everyone else living in this great big world. Being different is a great thing. But I learned that the hard way.
At school, unfortunately I was considered ‘a nerd’. I would be afraid to be alone. I ate at lunch next to the trash cans, on the floor. Everything landed on my face, head, or on my own food!
Whenever someone came up to me at school, it was just for two things. To get bullied or to do their homework. Sometimes I ended up in detention for doing people’s homework, but I did not care. Doing their homework was my only way out-my only save. *** “The geek of the 21st century.” I told Noelle. The name “the geek of the 21st century” is my new identification at school. Its only been one week since school began a new year and I already got my first nickname. “That’s an honour to be a geek of the century. I would be proud & make my neighbours call me that. My mum & father would be proud of me & stop thinking that I’m just some stupid bloke!” said she in her amazing British accent. “What!” I shrieked. The shriek was so loud I broke all my car windows. Great. Just, just great. “I mean if it weren’t for or as an insult.” Noelle quickly added. I stood quiet. We had arrived to school. I walked in holding hands with Noelle and I had not even noticed until we got to our lockers. She giggled to my reaction of our hands fitting perfectly together. ‘She’s beautiful, smart, brave, kind, funny, my day’s sunshine, my night’s moonlight.’ I was thinking. Then reality ruined my life. She is dating the most popular, the richest guy in school. His name is Eddie Hashimoto. His father comes from a long line of wealthy Japanese men. His mother is half Hawaiian and half South African. Usually people instantly think, “Oh she is African American, as in skin color type. But on the contrary, she is not. However he still avoids talking about his mother. “Max!” I hear from a far distance. I shake my head as if I were a little kid who just woke up from a nightmare. “Hey…..ummmm…. I have to go. The bell is going to ring & I don’t want be late. Soooo…..Bye. Talk to you later.” She gives a small and clean ballerina turn and begins to walk. She slowly and perfectly walks down the hallway facing the opposite direction as I am facing. As I walk down the hallway I stop and think to myself. “My ship is lost in a sea of sound. I’m surrounded by people who have tongues that cut like blades! I see everybody staring at me & the clothes that I am wearing. I hear them telling whispers to one another saying that I am never gonna fit in. Sometimes I feel lost in my own little world because of this. I feel like I’m never good enough. I’m the diamond everyone lost in the dust. But that does not matter. Nothing gets to me anyways. Or Should I just run, run, run away!” Noelle is staying today to watch Eddie play soccer. I admire how he manages to be himself and yet be accepted in the status quo. And that is when it hits me! I need to change. I ran to my car and hurried to my house. I got my earnings from my work at Nando’s and went shopping. Something very girly to do but I needed to change. When I got home, I looked at all my belongings. My new belongings. They were so many bags. So many different brands. So many different stores. I bought things that were hopefully going to make me popular. I looked at the clock. It read eight o’clock. 12 hours left until thistimid boy went away. I woke up to the sound of a cascade. I could picture the water falling. I instantly got up and opened my window curtain. It was beautiful. The sun rose from the Earth’s vanishing point. Then my phone went off. I ran to see what it was. “New Message From: Noelle” brightened up my screen. The text message read, “I dumped him. can I get a ride to school & back?” I instantly replied, “Sure.” “Oh hey ummm…. Max?” she said probably questioning the new me. I gave her a nod and a small smirk. She got in my car and I pressed the gas pedal. “What’s up with your change? I liked you the way you used to be.” I got instant goosebumps. I stayed silent. I felt a lecture coming along. While I walked down the hallways, people talked to me. They actually talked to me! My bullies became my friends. The girls would give me their numbers and compliment me constantly. Everything went like this for the next three weeks. Until someone made me realize what I was doing. “Have you lost your f****n mind! I broke up with Eddie because I loved you Max! But you have changed… I’m not sure of my feelings anymore.” Noelle’s voice gradually changed from loud to quiet and slow. She said she loved me. “You love me?” I asked with this stupidity I cannot even explain. “I love Max! Not this big *** jerk standing in front of me!” Before I could answer, she ran off crying. I messed up. I made her cry. Honestly speaking, when a guy makes his or a girl cry that is very important to them, they should just shut the f**k up because you never make a girl cry. Anyways getting my brain back on track. Should I change? Should I please the school? Or do I want Noelle? Three questions. The only things in my mind right now. What could I do. I need to answer these things as soon as possible. I want to be this new version of Max but I do not wanna loose her either. Finally, after thinking and analyzing everything, I made my decision. ~~~ I was the new version of Max until the end of the third semester. Being popular was fun but I never enjoyed it. However I do not regret what I did. I learned very much from being like this. I lost my only and true friend; Noelle. Our last talk was the fight. I wanted to be myself. *** Once I had learned from my experience of pretending to be someone whom I was not, I felt great. When I changed everyone hated me. I did not care because you know what, “Haters Gonna Hate” and there is really nothing we can change. There should not be any reason why one should want to change. If you get bullied, or simply feel like society has ruined your life and believe that changing is going to help, trust it is not. It may stop temporarily but one should just ignore them permanently. No matter how hard it is. A person I love once told me “Nothing is impossible. For the word impossible says ‘I’m possible.’” When you feel lost and cannot be found, just lift your head and stand your ground. After all, it is always dark before the dawn. People can tell you what is right. They can tell you that you are wrong. They can tell you that you are weak just because they want to feel strong. However they cannot take away your soul or the gifts you have been given. They can put themselves up when they are putting you down. They can think that they are kings or queens but that is just because they have taken your crown. Trust me. I have been hurt in the same way, but tomorrow is a new day. You have everything you need inside. I once faced the fire. Now it is your turn. But keep in mind, you have to choose wisely. I know that you can probably be thinking that I am giving you all this advice while I chose to be fake to myself, but remember that I learned my lesson. The hard way. As I mentioned, everyone hated me after I decided to be myself. Everyone except Noelle. She and I were ignored by everyone. Our school was our mountain. Our peers were our avalanche. However, on the bright side, we stayed loyal to who we were. For all the people out there in general. No matter how young or how old you are, please accept the person you are. We all have something beautiful in us. I stopped caring of whether people cared or loved me. I learned that not everyone is going to accept you, not everyone is going to love you, not everyone is going to need you. I did not need to be loved by everyone. I did not need everyone to care for me. I did not need anyone to notice that I existed. If I did not need any of that, you do not either. All you need to do is have faith, love and hope. I say these things because, "Faith makes all things possible, Love makes all things easy, hope makes all things work. We all live once but once is enough if you have Faith, Love & Hope." Noelle also helped me learn that one should be who they are and show off their true colors or “colours” like she would say along with this poem, quote, whatever you want to call it: Hope is the ability to hear the Music of the future; Faith is the courage to dance to it today; Memories are forever friends, but they are just things that you imagine, Then you store them all inside your mind, where they reach their haven’t; Never let go of hope, One day you will see that, It was finally come together, What you always have wished for, Has finally come true, After all there is always a rainbow, After a storm passes “Never forget who you are. Feel like you still have a choice. If we all light up, we can scare away the dark.”